


Aftershocks

by Nyxierose



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post-Series, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-05-04 15:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5339237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxierose/pseuds/Nyxierose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes actions have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are human. And hey, this isn't the WORST possible scenario... right??</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on tumblr as @electricbluebutterflies.

If nothing else, Jess has always had her body. It's a predictable thing, her limits well defined and her patterns consistent. Except, because she's a damn trainwreck and the universe is clearly not done with her even though she's gotten her necessary vengeance, it isn't doing what she wants _now_.

She has a routine. Once a month, every month for the last seventeen goddamned years, she's woken up with blood where she doesn't really want it - a pleasant reminder that, at least for now, there's as much chance of life blossoming within her as there is of a rosebush blooming in the immediate aftermath of Chernobyl or some shit.

Well, apparently the rosebush got lucky, because it's been two months and that particular ritual hasn't happened. Two months, and her sex life has been completely nonexistent for almost a year, ever since the Bad Things. She doesn't drag other people into her shit, doesn't even bother with nameless fucks because it's not worth it. She's not that much of a disaster.

Except… dammit, except that she did screw up. Except that there was a magnificent two week stretch right in there that lines up just a little too well with the rest of this nightmare for her to be comfortable. Except that she's done a damn good job mentally erasing every detail but the relevant stuff comes back in a heartbeat and oh _god_ this is the last thing she needs so of course it's happening.

Because clearly, clearly she didn't do enough damage.

Because _clearly_ what a barely-functional thirty-year-old reluctant superhero needs is an unplanned pregnancy thanks to someone who probably has a three-page list of completely understandable reasons why they hate her.

Fuck.

She knows, as she begins to fall apart in her bathroom, that she's going to keep it. Call it penance, definitely, she's long overdue for some consequences and better a kid than herpes or something. Also, on a more practical level, she's not entirely sure if trying to nip it in the bud would even _work_. She's not sure if her powers might be passed onto the little beastie. Possibly more relevant, she's not sure if _his_ might. It's entirely plausible, in a way that makes far more sense than it ought to at half past midnight, that the kid's going to be completely indestructible - and if it is, Jess doesn't wanna learn it in a clinic. She doesn't want to go any more public than she has to, and so she'll force herself through this just like she forces her way through everything else and she'll be okay, she's a survivor, and maybe she'll be good at this parenting thing. Maybe maybe.

In the morning, she buys three different brands of pregnancy tests. All of them come up positive. She wishes she was even surprised.

From there, battle plans. Unfortunately, maternity leave doesn't mesh well with her line of work, but she'll deal with that in a few months when it matters. And really, she doesn't have a lot of people to tell. Just three important figures in her life, and two of them are easy enough in the grand scheme of things.

Malcolm, bless him, hears her throwing up through the paper-thin walls and is outside her door an hour later with chicken soup and a sympathetic look. "Flu's going around," he shrugs. "Robyn's girlfriend has it, so does the new people's kid downstairs."

"Not the fucking flu," Jessica growls. "I'm not that lucky."

"Then what is it?"

"The ultimate reason I'm never having sex with anyone again ever."

"Oh."

Malcolm, at least, is calm about it.

Trish is not. Trish is a goddamn hurricane, Trish is slightly hysterical and Jess is very happy to be nested on her best friend's couch because said best friend is a little scary right now.

"How did that even _happen_?" Trish gasps, and Jessica can tell what she's thinking and oh thank god at least it wasn't _that_.

"Told you. I hooked up with someone. That has been known to lead to this sort of thing."

"I know, I just… you with a kid… I think I've had nightmares about that."

"Are you on my side or not?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure what the hell you think you're doing, and I'm more than a little worried about you, but… I'm here for you, Jess. Always. Whatever you need."

Two down, the scariest one to go.

In fairness, it takes time. Jess tracks people for a living and she knows damned well what she's doing, but it's a little harder when someone doesn't _want_ to be found. She calms herself down, tells herself over and over again that she's probably not the only thing he's hiding from, but it still takes nearly a month to get an address and a week beyond that to work up the necessary courage.

(Downsides of being pregnant - having to quit drinking cold-turkey, followed by a total lack of motivation to be human.)

She could, objectively, avoid the situation. Plenty of people grow up only knowing one of their parents, and it's not like the kid is going to have a serious lack of role models or… on second thought, that's just more motivation. It needs one person in its life who isn't a ticking time bomb, and ultimately that's the push Jess needs. That and the fact that the little beastie is starting to get annoying.

Five and a half more months of this bullshit, she reminds herself. Five and a half more months.

She forces herself to do it when she can't stand the fear anymore, forces herself on a day trip to an apartment building in a neighborhood she's a little less familiar with, forces herself up four flights of stairs because of course the damn elevator is broken and forces herself to knock on an unfamiliar door. Her body's shaking and she wonders what'd happen if her legs gave out, wonders if anyone would find her here, wonders-

"Hey."

Dammit, she missed this man and his comforting voice, but now is not the time to get sentimental. "We need to talk."

Luke motions her in and she braces for the worst, braces for whatever reaction he might have to her, but instead he just looks at her blankly for what feels like forever and she takes that as a sign that she needs to get this over with as quickly as humanly possible.

"I'm pregnant." She steps forward, reaches out and puts his hands on her slightly rounded stomach. "It's yours. You were the first in a long time and… fuck, I know this is the last thing you need but-"

He shakes his head and she swears she can hear his mind turning. This would be a heavy thing to force on anyone, but their history being what it is… she waits for him to tell her to get lost, waits for the worst, waits for-

"What do you want me to do?"

Jess laughs, actually fucking laughs because damn if he isn't still too good to be anywhere near her. "I don't know. Kinda figured I'd tell you and then you'd tell me to stay the fuck away from you and I didn't really plan for the option where you don't freak out."

"I kinda _am_ freaking out," he replies. "This is…"

"I'm not afraid of doing things on my own. I _can_ do things on my own. I just don't want to. Not if I don't have to."

He's quiet for a little while, quiet as his hands work their way around her waist and quiet as he displays the gentleness that caught her eye four months ago when all was innocent. (Well, that and the fact that he's absolutely gorgeous but she's kinda trying not to think about that right now.) It's one of those strangely sweet moments that don't actually happen to normal people, but it's happening now and Jess almost wants to cry but doesn't because she's having enough trouble remembering how to breathe.

"Tell me to stay the hell out of your life, keep the little monkey away from you, and I can do that," she mutters. She's not asking for anything here, not daring to interpret the situation as anything it's not.

"And if I don't want you to do that?"

"Then you're more of a masochist than I thought."

"I'm not sure I'd call it that. More… curious."

"Oh?"

"People like us don't do this together."

"No shit. I'm not asking you to do a lot, Luke. Just… a little involvement? An occasional custody weekend?"

"And if I want more than that?"

"What are you talking?"

"Would you let me go to appointments with you?"

She weighs the odds for a few moments, contemplates the possible consequences and decides that nothing's gonna outweigh having someone with her who can actually keep their goddamn mouth shut. "You actually want to?"

"Yeah. Seems like the appropriate thing to do."

"I thought appropriate went out the window when I shot you," she mutters, rolling her eyes.

"You had your reasons. I've got mine."

"Which are?"

"Taking responsibility for my actions."

"You don't owe me anything."

"Didn't say otherwise." He lets go of her, a certain reluctance as he steps back. "I don't owe _you_ anything, but our kid is a different issue."

Ours. Jess repeats the word over and over in her brain, decides she likes the sound of it. "Next appointment's at ten on Tuesday. Clinic two blocks north of my apartment, third floor. See you there?"

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Personal crises always have bad timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now a multichapter fic by popular(ish) demand!! No idea how long this'll ultimately be, but there are at least a few more segments...

It takes less than a week for Jess to realize this might all be a colossal mistake. On some subconscious level, she's known since the beginning, but it all sinks in during the appointment, after lying to multiple medical professionals about what the man holding her hand even is to her. The father of her child, yes. Her romantic partner? Fuck if she even knows at this point, but that's the sort of answer that gets people worried so instead she smiles and nods and hopes that's enough. Hopes, in that fearful place her mind retreats to sometimes, that she hasn't crossed an uncrossable line with only a few little words.

Luke strokes her hand with his thumb, far too calm for this. She expected a little anger from him - hoped for it, almost, heaven knows she's more than earned it. She meant to do the honorable thing, stay the fuck out of his life and maybe occasionally hope to see him across a crowded subway station ten years down the line. Instead, this. Instead, "look at our consequences". Instead, what may well be a lifetime of reminders that he's a better person than she knew anyone even _could_ be and now he's permanently stuck with her. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"How often are these?" he asks her when they've got a few moments, while the doctor scurries off to find something or other.

"Once every few weeks. Apparently I'm low-risk." She shoots him what she really hopes is a sympathetic look but probably ends up a little closer to a death glare. "You don't have to come, okay? I'm-"

"I want to," he says, same words he said twenty minutes ago when they found their bearings on the sidewalk outside. "Curious, remember?"

"Looks more like emotional masochism," she laughs. "Not that I'm complaining."

He's about to say something, probably something intense, but then the doctor reappears and the moment is gone. Just as well.

After, he suggests getting food somewhere and she agrees because right now all she wants is a goddamned hot dog (and yes she _knows_ those contain literally everything she is not supposed to consume until the creature is born) and she likes the idea of someone else paying for it and she likes the idea of a few more minutes of pretending she isn't shamelessly staring at him. She's not sure _what_ they're doing, honestly, but there are more than a few perks in it for her right now despite the background noise and she's almost hopeful. Almost. Almost.

"What even are we?" she asks anyways, because she wants to get the carnage over with.

"I don't know," he replies, beautiful deep eyes staring at her like they can see the darkest parts of her soul. "You're a hard person to pin down, Jessica."

"I'll apologize if that makes you feel better, but-"

"You don't need to. These things happen."

"Not to people like you they don't!" And great, now she wants to cry again, she's going to take full advantage of the opportunity to blame pregnancy hormones for the next few months of emotional bullshit because it just keeps _happening_ and-

"Breathe, okay?"

"I was trying to do the good-person thing for once and look where that got me!" Her heart's trying to run a goddamned marathon, and she's wondering if she really is out of the safe zone for morning sickness (on second thought, the hot dog was _not_ a good idea). "Too late for _me_ to back out now, but you… god, you should stay away from me."

"What if I don't want to?"

She shakes her head, can't make eye contact with him because this cannot possibly be happening. "The only thing I'm good at is hurting people. You've seen that. You've seen all the scary shit and yet-"

"It's not just about you and I anymore, Jess. Third factor now. Never thought I'd get that, especially after-"

"Don't." She already feels terrible enough, thank you; flashbacking to That Night will not help, and yet it happens anyways. She buries her face in her hands, puts all her energy into breathing, hopes it'll pass quickly and hopes she'll be alone when it does but no, not alone, really not alone. She's not sure when or how he moves but he does and his hands spread across her back, hesitantly anchoring her. First time anyone's tried to physically comfort her during one of these episodes - best thing about having a best friend who doesn't do hugs unless someone's almost _died_ \- and Jess thinks she likes it. She could get used to this. She could get used to so much if she gets this slightly-less-fucked-up chance at whatever might actually exist between herself and Luke.

He's seen all this before, she reminds herself as the worst passes. It's not like she's got any secrets left to keep from him.

"Coming down?" he asks at almost the right moment, sweet-worried and god he's gonna be the end of her.

"Yeah. Thank you."

Somehow she ends up on her feet, somehow she ends up in his arms and he's shaking too and she never wants to feel that again, never wants to be this vulnerable and fragile in such an obvious way. But on the other hand, it feels really nice to be held. There's a safety in this moment, in this good man falling from his pedestal to help her become whole again, and a few more tears fall from her eyes as she buries her face against his shoulder.

God, she's a monster. She'll take and she'll take from him, as much as he'll ever let her, she knows this won't ever change and she doesn't even feel bad about it. She's a black hole and a bad day and everything tragic in the world and the mere thought of anyone wanting a second dance with that is enough to make her head spin yet here they are anyways and maybe she's wrong. Maybe, for once in her little life, she's actually wrong.

"I shouldn't have inflicted that on you," she breathes when her body stills.

"You're fighting it," he replies. One of his hands inches up from the small of her back and tangles in her hair, keeping her close. "And I'm here, I've got you."

"Why?"

"Because you're a goddamned second chance."

Maybe not what she _wants_ , but she'll take it.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At this point, getting the flu in MAY feels just like Jess's luck...

Morning sickness is probably the worst thing Jessica has experienced. Like, almost enough - but not quite - to make her reconsider this whole pregnancy thing. Her body, once peaceful and predictable, is now resistant to _everything_ and she's pretty sure she's going to end up losing weight during the next few months instead of gaining it. Throw in a total lack of motivation to leave her bed at any hour of the day, and life as she knows it is pretty well over with.

On one of the better days, she decides to pester Luke. She'd promised not to, but she is now four months pregnant and it's his fucking fault and she figures she'll get a little sympathy out of him. Preferably the physical kind, cuddles or maybe… god, her sex drive won't shut up lately and a woman can hope.

(Fine, it's probably unrealistic, but weirder shit has happened.)

It seems like a good idea when she leaves her place, at least. It decidedly _isn't_ when she reaches his, and she's spent the last five minutes wondering if maybe she's got the flu on top of this whole incubating-tiny-human thing and-

"Are you okay?"

She loves his voice. She loves a lot of things about this man, okay - she has yet to see anything that a normal person would describe as a flaw - but his voice just _does things_ and it's calming as she looks up from the ground and into his worried face.

"I feel like shit. And I know I look even worse, so don't even."

Absolute angel that he is, Luke just stares for another moment before taking her hand and leading her into the apartment. She didn't get as far as the front room the last time she was here, but it's _nice_ and she'd think a lot more about details if she wasn't on the edge of throwing up or-

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened," she growls. "Just stupid symptoms that should've stopped a month ago but apparently my body hates me."

(Never again, she decides. Never, ever, ever again. This little creature inside her is gonna be an only child, dammit.)

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know," she shrugs. "I felt fine half an hour ago, and I thought maybe we could talk or just be human or whatever, but-"

"Hold still." Gently, in a way that should not be possible given his size and abilities, Luke puts his hand on her forehead. "Jess, I don't… I don't think this is just pregnancy hormones."

"It feels like the flu," she hisses. Probably is, too, and isn't it just her luck to get that in fucking _May_.

"You need to rest," he murmurs. His hand is on her back now, comforting, and it'd be so easy for her to crash against him but-

"I can leave," she says. Pregnancy bullshit is one thing; this, completely separate from the gentle rounding of her stomach, is more than she cares to inflict on him.

"You're strong, I know, but I'm not sure you'd make it home like this."

"So you're asking me to stay? You're totally sure you can deal with-"

"You don't scare me."

Well, _that's_ reassuring.

She lets herself collapse, lets her weight rest against him, lets herself breathe. "I am the worst person ever."

"Not even close, woman."

Screw it, she's too tired to even pick a fight with him. Also not feeling like she's gonna puke anymore, so that's a plus, but-

"It's okay. I've got you."

She's not sure how they make it into what appears to be his bedroom or how she ends up curled up on the bed or even when she closes her eyes but somehow all of that happens. She falls asleep and it's peaceful for once, dreamless, first time she's felt this good in at least a few years.

(She could get so used to all of this.)

When she wakes up, he's sitting on the other side of the bed, looking at her the way he usually does - like one might regard a feral but injured large animal, as something to be respected and feared and looked after all at once. It's an oddly fitting scenario, and she processes it with a smile on her lips.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

As if in cue, the little creature in her stomach kicks for the first time and she gasps.

"What happened?"

"Kid's got legs, apparently." She reaches out and grabs his wrist, pulls him closer and puts his hand on her stomach. "Not sure if it'll do it again but-"

It does - responsive little thing, apparently, and Luke's face lights up as he feels it too. "Wow."

"This is happening. This is actually happening."

He shifts a little closer, and for a moment Jess thinks he's going to kiss her forehead but instead he goes for her lips and _goddamn_. She has definitely missed that.

"What was that for?" she asks, playful.

"Wanted to," he shrugs. "Doesn't have to mean anything."

"And if I hope it does?"

"Later, Jess. Not now."

Still, he lies beside her and lets her curl around him. She can respect the not-talking, she decides, if it means they still get to cuddle.

(She's almost definitely in love, but that's another convo she knows better than to attempt. Not yet, at least.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got around to updating. Thank you so much to everyone who's patiently waited for this, and I'm gonna try to update more frequently from here on out. (Alsoooo, am thinking the rating might go up... we shall see.)


End file.
